Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize