I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
