i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror