Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery