I am spending my child support on dildos
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
