I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
