I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
