When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
