Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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