quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
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I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
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I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize