I just saw a hot homeless man
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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