I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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