Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
