So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
