he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
