There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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