Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
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i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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