This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
