is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Your dad touched me again.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
