I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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