she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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