I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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