Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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