She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
