Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
