What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
