i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
