That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm just crazy horny about you
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It all started with a game of naked twister.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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