I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
