he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
