the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
