hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He called his prostate his "boner button".
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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