she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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