i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
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