I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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