i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
