my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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