You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
You're so nebulous sometimes
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
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waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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