is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
