i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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