i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize