bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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