everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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