Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
