Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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