They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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