Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
