your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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