how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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