I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
