I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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