Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
