you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
