Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Such a big mess for such a small penis
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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