I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
