I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
