My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
