Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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