Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
you inspire me to be a worse person
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
