If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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