Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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