Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
