my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
