So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
